


The Cost of Loneliness

by celestialshimmer



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [13]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Boyd backstory, Gen, Teen Wolf Black Character Appreciation Week, mentions of Alicia and Danny, twblackcharweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 17:31:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3419441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialshimmer/pseuds/celestialshimmer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Boyd didn't choose what his life was like, but for the longest time he didn't know how to change it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cost of Loneliness

Boyd got his job at the ice rink when he was still in middle school. It started as just cleaning up the ice and sorting through the rented ice skates to make sure they went back into the slot marked with the right size. Then, as he got older, he proved himself more responsible. He would sharpen the blades of the dulled skates, handle the money for the rentals, and restock the vending machines. The most significant promotion, by far, was when he got the keys to operate the Zamboni. It was a sign of responsibility and even authority at the rink, and plus? It paid more.

The way he made the most money from the ice rink was an accident, though. When his boss, the owner of the rink passed away, she left the business to her son. The son didn’t really care much about the running of the rink, it seemed, and so Boyd practically had the run of the place, and he was still only fourteen. The rink was closed for a while as the new owner was figuring things out, but then a high school senior offered to pay Boyd if he allowed him and a few friends to skate there. Apparently it was their last opportunity to do so before graduating or something, and he couldn't refuse. Especially since the money would help pay the month's water bills.

Boyd really didn't know how news about it spread, but then Danny Mahealani asked if he could surreptitiously rent the rink for a party. And after that, Boyd went from his only conversations with people at school being about what the math homework had been (everyone could see he took detailed, organized notes) to people wanting the rink. It would've been annoying, and he half-regretted starting the whole thing in the first place. Danny had been nice enough to help clean up after his party, but he also hadn't suddenly become a friend to Boyd like he'd half-hoped when the boy in his grade had first approached him. Boyd told himself that getting the money was worth not having a friend, that if the new sneakers he'd been able to buy himself to replace his too-snug ones with holes weren't worth it, then the flowers he'd bought for Dad's grave definitely were. But when he visited the cemetery again and the flowers were wilted, he had trouble convincing himself of that for very much longer.

Was it too much to want a friend? He didn't expect someone to just fall into his lap, he knew the world couldn't work like that. But he was also afraid to make too-kind overtures at ROTC or at school, or anywhere really. Boyd didn't know what was more to blame, his social awkwardness or how scared he was losing someone ever since Alicia. He couldn't imagine suffering through the difficult process of forming relationships if he would lose them. He didn't know what was more likely to cause him to lose someone, messing up and ruining a friendship on his own or actually losing them. Either way, they just seemed too painful and he really didn't know.

Another thing he didn't know? How much longer he'd just try to avoid the world by hiding away from it, running away from pain at the expense of something maybe much more worthwhile. Letting go of loneliness and really living… it sounded great, yes, but it carried a price he was unsure he was willing to pay. At least for now.


End file.
